nickbennett_blog

Tag: goody

  • Obsession

    Our bundle of joy is going to be a boy! For me this is awesome for many reasons but mainly because it means I have someone to…

    1. Play football with
    2. Have a beer with
    3. Buy violent toys for
    4. Take to Roots Hall
    5. Play practical jokes against the Mrs with

    There is a certain degree of pride in producing an heir to the Bennett empire. An empire which currently consists of a few guitars and a Ford Fiesta. I can envisage a trip in Brenda (the name for the Ford Encore) saying ‘One day Son, all this will be yours!’. Another benefit of not having a daughter is the awkward interrogation of the potential boyfriends and subsequent financing of the Wedding. Instead, I’ll be giving the boy advice on how to win over the Dads and then make the appropriate dash for it. I was thinking though, the only downside to having a boy is the pressure we may inadvertently put on him. As a boy, you automatically think of the possibilities of a Nobel prize winner, an author or a musician. This got me thinking about my own short fallings as a human. And you know what? I couldn’t find a single thing (just kidding).

    My main problem, which I don’t think is that uncommon is wanting what the Jones have. I often look at the successful people in life and I wonder how they’re any different to me. Apart from the obvious gulf in talent, these people have one thing that makes them particularly different from me. Obsession. A real single-mindedness to accomplish what they need to. Bill Gates’s obsession with getting computers into every home, Warren Buffett’s obsession with mastering the markets and Lionel Messi’s obsession to become the world’s second greatest football player (me obviously being number 1, a career blighted with injury). The self-control to spend every living moment of your life dedicated to achieving your goal. Simply amazing and commendable.

    I’ve met a few people in life that seem to have this obsession. Their complete ‘I don’t give a fuck what you think’ attitude is for me the most impressive trait. When I start to look at what these people have, I have to remind myself that it’s because when I’m playing FIFA they’re working hard. A lot of people expect success just to fall in their lap. Why should it? You’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve it! Maybe this is down to the sense of entitlement we have in this country. Why the dribbling heathens turn up on X Factor expecting to become the next Rick Astley. Why Dave and Tracy expect the state to move them to a nicer house after Tracy popped out baby number 8. Just because you aspire to be as useless as Jade Goody doesn’t mean you’ll reap the same rewards. The only REAL thing I feel entitled to in life is fairness. Even that seems like too much at times. If I say my P’s and Q’s so should you, you ignorant peasant. I pay my fair share into the system so when I need something back shouldn’t I have the same entitlement as everyone else?

    I think you cannot force obsession. If you don’t want something badly enough you’ll never get to the levels of obsessions you need to accomplish it. So for Junior, I’ll love him and guide him as best as I can. I’ll be proud of him regardless of which life path he decides to take. Having never had an obsession before I can’t wait for him to be my first!

  • Celeb-Pity

    Sitting in the dentist’s waiting room I have a choice of Essex Homes or a glossy celebrity magazine to browse through to kill time. In hindsight, I should have opted at looking at maisonettes in Ockenden. Flicking through the pages of  ‘Empty Monthly’ really brought home the point. What a shallow world we live in! I became depressed. Of the 4 magazines I flicked through, there was not a single article of any worthiness. Not a single sentence worth reading. Not a single word over 3 syllables.

    The focus of these magazines seems to be on the latest 15-minute celebrities. Big Brother is the theme of the more recent magazines. I kept asking myself ‘Why do they focus on THESE celebrities? Of all of the people in the World who have any distinguishable talent, the editor has chosen to do a piece on Pixie Chantel Smith, the lesbian, skinhead, Tourettes, nymph rocker from Skegness who has just been kicked out of the BB house’. Is it because Pixie has an in-depth philosophical outlook on life and our existential existence?

    Then I had an epiphany. No…..it’s because their fame is in the grasp of everyone! You don’t need any concern-able talent to become part of THIS celeb club. In fact, talent would probably hold you back. Maureen from Driving School became a celebrity because she couldn’t drive. Jade Goody became famous as a ditsy blond who was slightly racist. These are hardly attributes that should be desirable, they are however easily attainable. So we have no talent and we’ve changed our name to Starbustron3000….what next?

    Well, the remaining padding on these magazines is filled with pictures of gorgeous models to show us how we should look. There are even tips on how to achieve these glamorous looks. In case we were still in doubt about our credentials for becoming a celebrity the remaining sections are dedicated to making proper celebrities looking rough. ‘Anna Hathaway looks terrible here what a crap celebrity’…erm but isn’t she an actor with some discernible talent? Now we’re thinking ‘Wow they look like crap in the morning just like me! Ergo I can also be a celebrity!’

    How depressing is this! I mean seriously, are we really meant to look up to these people? Be envious of these beings that would do anything to be the center of attention? I’m proposing a new magazine. It can still have glossy model pics, makeup, and fashion tips. However, all irrelevant talentless celebrity pieces will be replaced with actual celebrities giving interviews on how they became a great musician, author, artist….zoologist, etc… Anything with some level of merit. Come on ladies set your sights a little higher!