nickbennett_blog

Tag: Technology

  • Gumshields, Gumshields!!!

    I’m all up for sport evolution but it needs to be in the right areas. I’m fed up with FIFA making excuses as to why we shouldn’t introduce technology into Football. Every other sport is moving quicker than Football. There have been enough comments made about the need for technology so I’m not going to waste my time. Just be very assured that I, Nick Bennett believe technology needs to be introduced into the game of Football. There…done and dusted.

    But Nick you said the game is evolving in the wrong areas? Which areas could you possibly mean? OK, Football in its grassroots used to be a working-class sport where it wasn’t uncommon to find someone had urinated in your pocket while you stood watching your favourite team. I can only imagine the relief some of our Northern brothers would have felt knowing that there was a source of warmth waiting for their hands. The players were hard back then too. You could go into a neck-high challenge and no one would bat an eyelid. I’ve seen footage of Goalies being bundled across the line, and the goal is given.

    I’m not a barbarian, so I understand it had to be ‘toned’ down a tad. If you want to watch that sort of behaviour you can go and watch the ‘gentleman’ play rugby. What I have a problem with (and it’s been escalating for a while) are player’s protective accessories. There’s an infamous rumour that Steven Gerrard’s Father (after traveling a distance to see his son play) got in the car and went home after spotting Stevie G wearing gloves. I like this rumour and hope it’s true. The latest fad in player pampering is gum shields! The only exception I will allow is Heurelho Gomes as his Mum has provided a note after he was bullied for his first 3 months in the Country. Mr Gallas, there is no excuse! I’m not going to make some stereotypical comment about the French introducing these footballing must haves but if I had any stats I’m sure they’d be compelling.

    What does the future hold then? I can see the footballers of tomorrow wearing the same protective garments as seen in Police Dog training centers. Yet, ironically, being more flimsy under a challenge and more accomplished at diving than Tom Daley. How can they get away with this in the future? Because we will be relying on the short-sighted man in black to make all of the decisions silly!

    p.s. Southend have lost their last 3 games so I’m sulking

  • Tomorrows World

    I work in an industry that’s at the forefront of technology, as such I’m constantly thinking about the future. The trouble is it’s just not moving quick enough for my idealistic future. So let me take you on a quick tour of my futuristic Eutopia. To start with every house will come (as standard) with a hidden mass storage device. With the way that flash drive technology is moving, we should have more than enough storage, while taking up very little space. Think of this mass storage device as you would a boiler in our current houses.

    So what are we storing on this mass storage device? Erm, how about everything! How do you like them apples! Photos, Music, TV Series, and Movies would be on there for starters. I will call it the Waller 100 after the larger-than-life Pop Idol hopeful Rik Waller. Connected to the Waller will be multiple touchscreen consoles located in every room of the house. These will all be voice-activated and will display on the screen whatever is shouted at it. Take a moment if you will, sitting on the toilet opposite you is a monitor ‘Sky News’ you shout. Bosh, the latest news provided by your TV provider. Oh, I didn’t mention you can watch live TV in every room….course you can with Waller Vision.

    Ok, so you get the general gist of the voice activation screens in every room malarky. I think the film and music companies will be rather pleased with the anti-piracy features of the Waller 100. Like changing the Electricity Bill when you move you’ll also need to register your bank details with the service provider of your Waller. The account you register will be debited every time you shout ‘Download Debbie Does Dallas’ or ‘Download Dark side of the moon’. Once downloaded the data cannot be transferred to other Wallers. Or maybe the service provider will keep a record of what you own and stream it on request.

    Copyright is pending on this so hands off. I shall tell you where the need for this arose. The 10 yards from my sofa to the DVD collection is becoming far too tiresome. The only energy I’m willing to expel in the process of ‘putting on a DVD’ is shouting ‘play life of brian’ again.